


Pale and Fleeting as Dawn

by Bazylia_de_Grean



Series: Adra Bán [5]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 22:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12714372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bazylia_de_Grean/pseuds/Bazylia_de_Grean
Summary: Before it even started, Edér guessed it would not last for long.





	Pale and Fleeting as Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> (prompt: Edér, ruins, attraction)

Before it even started, Edér guessed it would not last for long. He noticed how she sometimes watched him thoughtfully when she thought he didn’t look. Different from glances women usually threw at him, appraising in an entirely different way, as if she wasn’t looking at his face or body, but his soul. Well, with Eidis being a cipher and a Watcher, that was probably exactly what she was doing. There was some curiosity in her eyes, and sometimes determination, but mostly hesitation and... He wasn’t sure. Sadness? She was sad all the time; not crying or being sullen, but she never smiled fully, and her laughter was always too quiet and too fleeting. As if something – or someone – took all joy from her life, leaving her only shadows.

He wasn’t exactly surprised when she eventually knocked on his door; even less surprised to see a bottle of wine in her hands. They have never really talked about that, and maybe he wasn’t the most perceptive of people, but he wasn’t blind, and he didn’t have to ask to know why she needed some wine for courage, why it took her so long to reach that decision – Aedyran upbringing, he thought to himself with gentle mockery, but extinguished the thought quickly, before she could pick it up. There was also no need to ask why she visited him now, with the possibility of death and defeat looming over the horizon. The proximity of death always made people – all kith – seek life.

From the first moment he noticed her staring, he knew he would not say no. She was pretty. Not like village girls, not like soldiers or warriors; the ethereal, otherworldly beauty he’s never thought of as appealing before – but she was a friend, she was patient and kind and always willing to listen, and that kind of bond made her just another kind of pretty. He didn’t quite understand her, but he was doing his best and he was willing to try. She wasn’t familiar like the sun at midday, but more like dawn, pale and intangible – but dawn was a miracle of Eothas as well as noon. But in time, she could shine; she believed he could help her with that, and that was why he thought so as well.

But on that first morning when he woke up to find her asleep at his side, all white adra in the dim silvery light of the rising day, Edér knew it would last but for a moment. Not because it was fleeting fancy – he hoped to build on friendship, and she hoped to find something – an answer to a question, maybe. But it was simply not meant to be. She was like light – he could feel her and reach out, but never hold her.

He wasn’t in love, not yet, so it wasn’t difficult to let go. Next evening, when she knocked on his door again, he didn’t turn her away – maybe because the realisation kicked in, and death was becoming a very real prospect with each passing day, or maybe because they both needed someone. His questions had only lead to more doubts, and her questions – he wasn’t even going to attempt to guess what those could be. But having no answer, they just needed something; the simple comfort of another’s presence at their side, the reminder of someone’s beating heart next to theirs. Simple, understandable. But he had said goodbye to her on that first morning.

Maybe that is why it’s easier to say goodbye to her when it can be final, when it can be a farewell, just before descending into Engwithan ruins on the Burial Isle. Edér watches her among the cracked stones and broken pillars, in the shadow of ancient statues, and for the first time he thinks she’s never belonged with them. Not just with him, but with them all, with the world as he knows it. That she looks more in place here, like a spirit among the bones of its past.

It must be like that for her, he realises, watching as Eidis draws a deeper breath, clearly afraid of what awaits them down there. Whatever she’s seen in her visions, it holds her soul in a way none of them was ever able to, in a way he would never be able to.

That is when he says farewell to any notion they could ever have more than friendship, says farewell to Eidis with compassion rather than sadness or regret. They found comfort with each other when it mattered, and she found the answer she had been looking for, and it wasn’t what either of them hoped.

Edér remembers the night when she woke up from a nightmare, and how she seemed more embarrassed than relieved the moment she saw him. How it dawned on him it might have been a dream – just a dream – and how when he thought that the words he’d heard her utter suddenly made sense.

He watches as Eidis stands over the precipice, ready to test the bargain she made with the gods and jump down. He can see the tight set of her jaw, the determination in her eyes, and knows that if they don’t fail, that if they achieve victory, there is only one way the confrontation with Thaos will end.

Edér knows from experience it’s not possible to compete with dead men.


End file.
